I’ve said this for probably twenty years:

You can be a dumbass or a jackass. You just can’t be both.

It sounds like a joke. It mostly is. But underneath it is one of my clearest rules about people, teams, and who I can work with.

To be clear, “dumbass” does not mean unintelligent. It means you don’t know what you’re doing yet. You may lack experience, judgment, or the answer—but you are honest about it.

If you show up grateful, curious, supportive, and willing to learn, I can work with that all day.

Skills can be taught. Experience can be earned. Mistakes can be corrected. A person who listens well, works hard, and wants others to win will usually become valuable faster than the person who entered the room convinced they already were.

You don’t have to be brilliant. You do have to be teachable.

A jackass is different.

A jackass may be arrogant, difficult, impatient, or exhausting—but if they possess rare expertise and consistently deliver something exceptional, I can usually work with them too.

I may not enjoy every minute of it. I may occasionally need to walk around the building before responding. But undeniable competence buys a certain amount of tolerance.

If you are going to be difficult, you had better be exceptionally good.

The real problem is the combination: someone who contributes little, learns nothing, supports no one, and still makes every room harder.

No curiosity. No gratitude. No expertise. Somehow, plenty of opinions.

That arrangement offers nothing to build with. I cannot develop the person because they are not teachable. I cannot justify the behavior because it is not attached to excellence. And I cannot protect the team while allowing incompetence and arrogance to reinforce each other.

That is where my patience ends—and where there is a reasonable chance I will tell you about yourself.

The language may be irreverent, but the principle is simple:

Character can carry you while competence develops.

Competence can occasionally compensate for imperfect character.

But if you bring neither, you are asking everyone around you to carry both your work and your weight.

No team should have to do that.